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Shortest path to victory

Return to the simple life

A Samurai is never happier than when he abandons the trappings of modern living and returns to the simple life in a tent under the stars. Yep. Is there any more beer ? It's in the drinks fridge next to the micorwave oven.

We won’t let a little snow stop us

Forward into battle my trusty servant ! We won't let a little snow stop us. It's barely up to my waist ! That's only because you're standing on my shoulders !!!

Instruction Videos

What are you doing ? I'm making a series of instruction videos. Whoaa!! What exactly are you training people in ? First aid and video camera repair...

You can’t harm me

Stand aside dragon ! You can'y harm me punny samurai. I'm on the list of endangered species. Curses !

Samurai Jack

You are a fool Hojo to model yourself on Samurai Jack. He is but a fictional cartoon character !! Really ? WHo should i model myself on? Tom Cruise.

The Mask

whoa ! What's with the mask, Hojo ? A masked face helps me to appear to be more threatening ! The imagniation can be more frightening than reality. Plus my enemy can't hear me whimpering.